Tag: mental health

Heartbreak

Yesterday was tough, hearing the news of the school shooting from Tumbler Ridge. In the coming days, there will be plenty of comments on why it happened. Most will not be helpful.

It is tough to comprehend the feelings the people of the small town must be experiencing. The whole of Canada is in mourning for the families touched by this tragedy.

When I was young, I feared many things. Somehow, though, I believed I had a measure of control over those fears. I could outrun them, outthink them, or at least convince myself they were manageable.

I wonder what children think now, growing up in a world where news travels instantly to the palm of their hand. A phone can feed fear twenty-four hours a day. At certain ages, it is easy to focus only on the darkness and not yet understand that life bends back toward light. I suspect many young people feel powerless—not just over the world, but sometimes over their own thoughts and emotions.

If my grandchildren ask about this tragedy, what will I say? How do you promise safety in a world that offers no guarantees?

Lisa and I have tried to make our house a safe place for our grandkids—a place where they know they are loved unconditionally. We try to show them beauty in small things. They help me in the woodpile and the garden. Lisa shows them how to bake and keeps a huge supply of art supplies for any project. We have supper together at least two times a week, where we talk about our day. We want them to feel safe and to feel they have some control, maybe not over the threats of the world, but over how they approach them. All we can do is love them.

Last night, I went looking for stars and peace. It was after midnight but before the moon was up. I could hear the creek flowing under the ice. The mountains were in outline, and the familiar constellations were holding their own.

My mind eased if only momentarily. I stopped before the creek to make sure I didn’t break through the ice in the dark. There may never be true safety. You can only take it all in and know that good will offer a path. It may never be safe all the time, but the more often you look for good, the more often you will find it. Unfortunately there is no consolation for the people of Tumbler Ridge and the families suffering with heart breaking loss.

Dysfunction

No chance to see Comet Lemmon this morning through the cloud and snow.

Some big juicy flakes fell but didn’t amount to more than a skiff. Still nice to see.

***

This year while working as a manager I had the misfortune of dealing with quite a few troubled workers. There is more and more people racked with anxiety every year. Mostly young Canadians who didn’t make it through the Covid lockdowns unscathed. It is a shame to see. It makes you wonder how they are going to make it.

But the worst was a 50-some-year-old alcoholic. Drinking on the job, late, cranky, emotional, miserable, complaining, missing days, injury prone, sloppy, hungover, driving drunk, fucking up and lying at every turn. He also has done a turn for beating his kid, wife and mother. All despite a three month stretch in rehab paid for by the government. An absolute pain-in-the-ass to be around. A complete dysfunctional boozer!

Now I come from a long line of functional alcoholics. Guys who wake up and make it to work on time. Keep putting one foot in front of the other regardless of headache or sickness, putting in an honest days work usually for themselves, raising their hands first for the tough jobs, keeping their mouth shut, they don’t drink until after the shift and laugh it off. Granted they are not easy to live with and they’re their own worst enemy, but they don’t fuck up at work. Guys like this are a dying breed as we all become a bunch of snivelling whiners.

I felt like grabbing this worker, smacking the shit out of him and teaching him how to be a goddamn man. Of course that would have been a trip to HR. It made me more angry that he couldn’t handle the booze than what a complete fuck-up he was at work. Hopefully the government will spring for another session in rehab as some people just shouldn’t drink.

Luckily I didn’t have to deal with him long.

***

Crazy

Been keeping up with long walks after work. It is easing my mind in a crazy world. Good dorg Willow has also been enjoying it. 

***

District of Invermere, Councillor Gerry Taft has taken a leave of absence due to a recent mental health issue. He has been very forthcoming with his recent struggle, posting on Facebook, possibly to the detriment of his reputation, and granting an interview with The Columbia Valley Pioneer Newspaper. The article can be found here.

Gerry has been steady as a rock in local politics and as a businessman for many years. He served three terms as mayor. I have never asked him a question that he hasn’t answered, unlike many of the small town politicians that inhabit the local council chamber.

He has been a successful businessman running several businesses. He has had to give up his real estate licence, which I find funny, as a real estate licence is a licence to lie, cheat and steal, but apparently you must be sane to do so.

Gerry is however continuing to work on his latest project, transforming a downtown, historic, but dilapidated building into a small modern mini mall to house several unique businesses. I was impressed when he gave me a tour a few days ago.

I haven’t always agreed with his position on local political issues, but have always respected his opinion and the way he puts his ideas forward. He will be missed on Council by the citizens of Invermere for  the stability he brought to the young inexperienced Councillors and the current ineffectual Mayor.

Hopefully, this is a bump on the road for Gerry and he will be back to full strength quickly. Knowing Gerry he will use this ‘break’ to reach greater heights and share his knowledge to benefit his community.

***

It is surprising to me that even more people don’t experience mental health issues considering the state of the world, country and community, exacerbated by social and news media that fosters incertitude in what should be the best time of human history.